A little excitement today

So, in Tanzania, the police are pretty much useless. Which means, if you get caught doing something bad, you basically get mobbed. Likely killed.

Have you heard the Dane Cook routine, where he watches someone get hit by a car? "You're about to be struck by a vehicle!" Yeah. If you haven't, it's a good one.

Today, whilst eating lunch on a patio, my chair was replaced by the hood of a car.
Story:

We went out to lunch at one of the only places that was open today, being the day after Easter. The woman running the place seemed a little distracted; as in, one of us would order and then she would just walk away. That's not totally unusual for Arusha--we've actually nicknamed a place "Space Cadet" because one of the servers is quite spacey. So it was a little bit entertaining but we thought nothing of it.

We were on the patio, under a little awning thing. A car pulled up and parked outside, and then started to honk. We thought it was a taxi waiting for someone. The rice and beans we ordered were delicious. Adam and Alana were hungry, so they each ordered another batch.

"Look out! LOOK OUT!" shouted Adam. I looked into the kitchen, thinking something was going on there. Perhaps there were some flying chipati, or chips mayai had caught on fire. Adam and Alana jumped, Gabby grabbed my shirt and pulled, and I was hit by a car. The table collapsed onto me, glass shattered and I lost my soda. My soda! At the time, looking back, all that was on my mind was my Bitter Lemon baridi. Odd.
The car then backed up and sped away. Which was probably the smart thing for the driver to have done, because people were running out, ready to pull him from the vehicle and bludgeon him to death.

We all assumed that he had meant to be in reverse, and accidentally just drove up, over the curb, and into us. It turns out, however, that this was not the case. You remember how the woman had seemed distracted? Well, apparently she had been fighting with her husband. The man behind the wheel: her husband. He wanted to do some damage.

We put the plastic table back together, and I picked up my broken Bitter Lemon bottle. there was a little liquid in it, and I tried to take a sip but a man grabbed it from me and everyone looked at me like I was an idiot. At the time, I just wanted my soda. Now, of course, I realize there had probably been glass shards contained within the last drops I so desperately wanted. So I ordered another one. We sat down, and a woman brought us our bill (with a few deductions). Adam and Alana's second batch of rice and beans, however, never made it.

A man who spoke English quite well came up to us and offered to help in any way he could. He offered to take us to the police station, but we've heard stories about how useless that would have been, so we declined. He told us he had the license plate number, and why the man had done what he did. Then we went and got some chocolate.


I'm still shaking a little and my mind is slightly befuddled. So, if this doesn't make much sense I'm sorry, I just feel like that was a story I needed to tell. And getting it out in words helped.
I'm okay, everyone is okay. There were no serious injuries. Just some bruising on its way.
Crazy day. TIA.

Love, Brendan